On the Road

Before I complain about the Wisconsin drivers, let me just say, Seattle is no driver's paradise.  I spent a lot and I mean A LOT of time stuck in Seattle area traffic. Between tourists trying to navigate the one way streets, distracted drivers blowing through intersections, Ubers blocking lanes, bridge openings and your every day traffic, driving in Wisconsin is nowhere near as rage inducing as driving in the Puget sound area. However, I have some thoughts…

First, the good.

Gas Prices 

Most things here are just as expensive as Seattle which was a little surprising when we moved here.  Gas prices though, holy hell, today, it’s almost under 3.00 a gallon! Also they have this magical place called Kwik Trip. The best (and cleanest)  gas station, convenience store, rest area and donut shop that America has to offer. You can find them about every 400 feet here.

Traffic

Or lack there-of.  If you need to go somewhere ten miles away, it’s not going to take you much more than 15 minutes and that is if you hit a bunch of red lights or encounter “traffic”. People in Madison love to complain about the traffic and construction. After spending most of my life in a place where it can take you 45 minutes to travel 4 miles, traveling around Madison is like driving the Autobahn.

Parking

Parking is AMAZING here! Even in Milwaukee and Madison, I have never really had to look for parking. It just appears where you need it. It’s reasonably priced and user friendly.  There aren’t a million signs to read with all sorts of fine print.  Every time I park, I feel like “This can’t possibly be a legal parking spot”  Because it’s so easy.   

The Speed Limit

Ok this one is good and bad.  Most freeways are 70 mph except when they are 55 but sometimes you are left to guess which one it is. Your GPS might tell you one thing and the MPH sign on the road will tell you something else. Sometimes your GPS says its 25 mph and the line of cars behind you beg to differ but there aren’t any speed limit signs for miles around. So you split the difference or let everyone pass you so you can get behind them and follow the flow of traffic. 

Ok, Wisconsin. What’s the deal?

The Four Way Stop. (a mostly true story) 

First guy there, waves through the guy to their right. 

Guy to the right waves to say “thank you” 

Lady  across the way mistakes that for a “No, you go wave” and starts to go

Everyone starts to go.

Everyone stops and gives an apology wave, 

but wait was that a...

A. “Ope, Sorry,” wave

B. “No, you go”, wave

C. “Thanks, I will” wave

D. “Hey Cindy, I haven’t seen you since the VFW Meat Raffle!” wave.

No one knows. 

Everyone starts to go.

Everyone stops 

We continue this until someone dies.

The Roundabout or Traffic Circle

The four way stop has it’s own challenges with these super polite midwestern drivers but the roundabout takes this to a new level.  See, the roundabout only works if everyone knows the rules otherwise you are pretty much trapped in the inner circle as Clark Griswald next to you is pointing out “Parliament! Big Ben!” If everyone is following the rules, its quick and seamless. If just one person is confused then it is…Wisconsin.

Parking lot

Those same drivers who are overly polite at the four way stop will absolutely flatten you in the Target parking lot.   Don’t even think about backing out of your Home Goods space if there is a moving car within a half a mile.  They are not letting you out. You may as well go back and get that box of vaguely European, off brand clearance cookies. You live here now.

Staying in the lines

I haven’t taken a traffic safety course since lived in Kitsap County in 1990 but I’m pretty sure the same basic rules apply. Nope not here.  The lines on the road are simply suggestions round these parts. I don’t know why, but Wisconsin drivers seem to have trouble driving within the lines. In related news, Wisconsin is the drunkest state in the US. 

Stop Lights.

Did you know they are called Stop and Go lights here? That's all. just a fun fact.

In conclusion, driving in Wisconsin is really no better or worse than driving in Washington, it’s just different. People here seem to struggle with driving in the rain but they have mastered driving in the snow.  It’s just a matter of time before I am the one inducing eye rolls as I try to navigate through my first Wisconsin winter which according to my weather app is…tomorrow. 

Long Story Short

I have had a lot of people ask me why we moved to Wisconsin.  It’s not a simple answer and I have tried to come up with a quick informational blurb but I cant seem to shrink down my explanation to a digestible sound bite like “I just really love Jell-o Salads” or “I've been dying to participate in a meat raffle”

So…if you are interested. Here is the shortest version I can come up with.

When we moved to Belltown it topped a bunch of lists as one of the best place to live in Seattle and for many years it was the perfect place for my family.  13 years later it tops a different list.  This time, depending on the source, Belltown is ranked the most dangerous neighborhood in Seattle with a crime rate of 480% above the national average. Now, I take these kinds of list with a grain of salt but it was getting harder to ignore. We were frogs who were slowly boiling and convincing ourselves it was fine. Things were starting to decline in the years leading up to 2020 but Covid gave it a turbo boost. The boiling point was a random assault that shook our sense of security. While the physical wounds healed quickly, the trauma remained and we knew it was time to get out of Dodge.

I love Seattle and I have always been it’s biggest cheerleader but it was no longer a place I needed to live. Most of our favourite haunts had shut down, I didn’t feel comfortable letting the kids wander our neighborhood alone, Mark’s company was acquired and his Seattle offices were shut down, my downtown Seattle company didn’t survive the pandemic, our oldest was in college with his own apartment and the youngest was going to start high school in a place where none of her friends were zoned to go.  It seemed like a great time to relocate to somewhere a little less murdery. 

Mark’s job offered us the flexibility to move around the United States and after an exhaustive search of places we could afford, places that were safe and somewhat liberal and places where we would actually want to live, we settled on Madison, Wisconsin, An artsy liberal college town in southeast Wisconsin.  The housing market is hot right now and so we had to set our sights a little further out than we had originally hoped which is how we ended up in Sun Prairie, a quick jaunt from Madison’s Eastside. Fun Fact, Sun Prairie is the Groundhog Capitol of the World and also home to 18 designated pizza places…but that’s another post for another time.

So that’s the capsule version.  It’s a lot to write into a Facebook comment or a casual conversation in the grocery store so in those cases I’m just gonna stick with my stock. “We are part of the witness protection program”

Guys, the meat raffle is ACTUALLY a think here! That might also be another post. I'm marking my calender.

Midwest Nice

Last week, while I was drinking my coffee and working on my laptop a woman started up a conversation with me. Did she mistake me for someone else? Was she a neighbor? Would this conversation end with a multilevel marketing pitch? Apparently not. She was just being friendly.

Midwest nice is a thing.
Is it genuine?
I have no idea but it’s refreshing and disconcerting at the same time.

When we arrived here in Sun Prairie, I had some questions about garbage and recycling pick up. I posted on the neighborhood Facebook page. The guy next door responded immediately, introduced himself, answered my questions, offered to mow our lawn, spray our wasp nest and take a load to the recycling center. He and Mark are now in a Fantasy League.


My daughter loves to talk to strangers, especially older strangers. We took a cruise once and were having trouble locating her. We found her on the Lido deck, literally, surrounded by senior citizens. She introduced me to all of her newfound friends. Throughout the cruise she would enthusiastically wave at random strangers who would call out to her by name. She was a celebrity.

Needless to say, this was one of the things that she loved the most about Wisconsin. “People talk to me here!” she said excitedly when we were trying to gauge her interest in moving to the Madison area. This entire region seems to be as friendly and chatty and helpful as the people who work the checkout lines at Trader Joe’s. Even my experience at the DMV was a positive one.

It’s not a Utopia, just last week, tensions were running high on a local Facebook page when a newcomer questioned the absence of sweet corn at the annual Sweet Corn Fest. I guess Midwest nice has it’s limits and sweet corn apparently touches a nerve. Boy did they get an earful...see what I did there? Corn?

There are things that take some adjustment, like not losing my S*%t at four way stops when someone insists on letting everyone else go first. I’m working my way towards saying hello to everyone I pass on the street, waving at the neighbors and taking friendliness at face value. I am so used to the Seattle Freeze that I have to remind myself that just because someone strikes up a conversation with me at the checkout line, it doesn’t make them a serial killer.

It's not you. It's me. Wait, actually it IS you.

Dear Seattle

You may have noticed that I have moved out. It was a good run, but after 25 years together, our relationship has run it’s course and I need to call it quits.  Yes, we had some really good times together. I was always your biggest supporter and avid cheerleader, but we have grown apart.  We want different things in life. You want to continue your self destructive spiral and I want to not get stabbed on my way to the drugstore. I will always remember our great times together but I ran out of funds and energy to support you. You will always find new and fascinating people.  Hopefully, you will find what you are looking for, perhaps someone with unlimited financial resources and the patience to allow you to get your shit together. Seattle, it was good while it lasted. I will always value our time together.

Regretfully yours,

Deonn

Somewhere That's Green

Like every good musical theatre nerd, when I think of living in a house with a yard I can’t help but picture Rick Moranis out mowing the grass to the catchy little earworm “Somewhere that’s Green”

“He rakes and trims the grass
He loves to mow and weed”

Yes, Mark, dutifully “rakes and trims the grass”,
"Love" is a strong word for the mowing and weeding, but it gets done nonetheless.




About a month ago 3/4 of the Hunt Family set out for greener pastures. Washington and Wisconsin aren’t really all that different but downtown Seattle and Sun Prairie might as well be different planets. (Different planets with an affinity for good coffee and a shared language…well mostly). The familiar city sounds of buses and foghorns and seagulls and sirens have been replaced with cicadas and toads. The view from my desk is no longer of dumpsters in the alley between 1st and 2nd. I now look out beyond our neighbors house at the nature trails and cornfields and the red barn and farmhouse.

The metaphorical greener pastures are actual green pastures. The trees are green. The cornfields are green. The lawns are green…well…except for one. People are really into their lawn care around here. It might be the same in Washington but it was not something we had to worry about living in our downtown condo for the past 14 years. 

Our neighbor mows his lawn three or four times a week in meticulous diagonal lines. He waters the yard and plants every day. He has dropped helpful hints and suggestions for how we might better care for our lawn. Mark is amicable and friendly and seemingly grateful for tips.  I tune out when he goes into detail about plant species and invasive weeds.

I hate yard work.  I hate yard work with a fiery passion reserved mainly for cottage cheese, the sound of other people flossing and the term “bespoke.” The lack of lawn care was one of the reasons I wanted to live downtown and spent most of my adult life doing so. As a kid my chores included scooping dog poop before the mow, raking afterwards and my most hated job…weeding. The former jobs I could do without much thought. The expectations were clear and I could daydream my way through them.  Weeding was the worst. I never knew what was a weed and what was a plant and I was always getting chewed out by my stepmother for making the wrong determination. This often resulted in more outdoor tasks as she was convinced I was screwing it up on purpose. I swore I would never have a yard or a dog or a garden.

So...we have a yard now. We budgeted for a lawnmower and a grill. We didn’t budget for a lawnmower, a hedge trimmer, hedge clippers, weed whacker, a leaf blower, a hose, a hose nozzle, a sprinkler, yard waste containers, work gloves, and wasp spray…so much wasp spray.

 "A grill out on the patio..." Yeah, that's gonna have to wait until next year.

When we bought the house Mark assured me that the yard would be his responsibility. I had been very clear about my yardwork disdain when we met. Hell, my distaste for the outdoors was even in my online dating ad. Mark is a man of his word. He has gone full Midwest dad- mowing lawns and trimming hedges and killing wasps like nobody's business. There is always this twinge of guilt when I see him out there trimming and mowing and leaf blowing in 150% humidity...I mean, not enough guilt to go help him with yard work, but enough guilt for me to write up a blog post.

“Far from skid row” Did you know the term skid row originated in downtown Seattle?

“I dream we’ll go” We’re already here.

“Somewhere that’s green”

Hmm. Audrey never sang about the wasps.